Yes, they really DID call it SpookyD … and you aren’t going to BELIEVE the secret of its mystery flavor!
You know, we here at Wicked Horror like to take the high road and avoid appealing to the lowest common denominator. But then, here comes SunnyD giving us a limited time only, seasonal beverage called SpookyD.
Yeah, SpookyD. The jokes make themselves, really. “Your mom gets plenty of SpookyD every Halloween!” That kind of thing. It’s such an obvious double entendre that I have a hard time imagining the marketing department at SunnyD headquarters not bringing it up at some point. Heck, maybe the realized it early on and went with it anyway, just to be edgy and whatnot. Either way, this Halloween we’re all getting some SpookyD … just like your mom.
I can’t say I’ve ever been a huge fan of SunnyD. Like, it’s supposed to be something like orange juice, except it isn’t technically 100 percent orange juice. I know I’ve tried it in the past — I mean, I’d have had to — but it clearly didn’t make much of an impression on me. Really, the beverage is more memorable to me for its commercials, which were so common in my youth that they’ve practically become de facto iconography of the ‘90s themselves. SunnyD is one of those rare “sentimental” food products that makes you feel nostalgic about pretty much everything except the actual drink.
Which brings us to this year’s SpookyD attraction. Right off the bat, it’s a pure gimmick product. As in, it doesn’t even tell you upfront what it’s supposed to taste like — rather, it’s positioned as a “mystery flavor” that could taste like anything. You kinda’ assume it will still taste mostly like SunnyD, the same way Cherry Coke still tastes mostly like regular Coca-Cola. But you never know — this might be the year the manufacturer goes bonkers and completely retools the formula.
The packaging is pretty neat. It’s pretty much all of the generic haunted house images you can think of on full display. Bats, a spooky looking manor and the center piece, a very adorable ghost ambling around with a pumpkin-shaped trick or treat bucket — it’s delightful stuff all around. The orange and purple color scheme works quite well, too and I’ll drink just about anything that has a bunch of evil, cartoon eyeballs lurking underneath the corporate logo. The rest of the packaging lingo is pretty boring, though. Although it is kinda funny seeing the brand that happy over a bottle containing 80 percent of an American consumer’s recommended daily allowance of Vitamin C. I mean, you got to get very creative to make a beverage like this sound even remotely healthy.
I’ve heard there’s a giant jug version of SpookyD, but the only one I saw at the local Walmart (i.e., where the American Dream goes to die) was this 18 pack of mini-bottles. I can’t remember the exact price, but I’m pretty sure it was less than eight dollars USD, which isn’t a bad deal at all. Assuming you go through two of these a day — and you probably could with little effort — it’s about a week and half worth of juice-like liquid to slake upon. So money-wise, it’s a pretty respectable little agreement we’ve got going on here.
Of course, the important thing is what the beverage actually tastes like. And in that regard, it tastes … weird. Like, there’s obviously some baseline SunnyD in the mix, but the “mystery flavor” totally mugs it on your tastebuds. I guess some people would say it tastes like Smarties candies (you know, the ones that taste like antacids, only sweeter), but I felt more of a light blue raspberry jolt myself. I was surprised by how sour the whole thing tasted; like, it’s pretty much a drinkable bag of Sour Patch Kids, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Imagine dumping a whole buncha’ lime juice into a regular ol’ pitcher of orange juice and you kinda-sorta get the gist of the beverage. Except not even that really tells the whole story. It’s tart, it’s sweet, it’s citrusy, it’s almost like Mountain Dew except with an artificial fruit kick you just can’t seem to put your finger on. Well, whatever it is, I liked it and MUCH preferred it to regular SunnyD. Indeed, this thing is so good it might even appeal to non-SunnyD drinkers … like me. It’s worth a fair shake, if absolutely nothing else.
We’ll just have to wait and see if SunnyD trots this thing out every fall like Pumpkin Spice Lattes. The potential is there, but I get the feeling they’ll go the Skittles/Mountain Dew VooDew route and create a different mystery flavor every year. Because kids like that and stuff. And so do 40-year-old niche entertainment website managers. Hey, they already got my money ONCE, didn’t they?
It’s a nice little treat if you’re the kind of person that loves kitschy Halloween ephemera, especially the kind of stuff that’s probably only going to exist this All Hallows Eve season and never again. It’s cute but more importantly, it’s actually quite drinkable and if you’re a scum bag college student you could probably mix it with vodka and have a nice little Samhain Screwdriver to sneak into Stats class.
All of that said, there is one thing I HAVE to address about SpookyD. I know we’re going through all this hoo-ha with the FDA and artificial dyes and all, but I seriously think SunnyD erred by not going with a different color scheme for the liquid itself.
You mean to tell me you’re going to sell something called SpookyD and it’s a cloudy, translucent white color? There’s a lot of disgusting things I could compare it to — and saying it looks like the android’s “blood” from Aliens is probably the LEAST gross thing that immediately springs to mind.
